"Due to a small misunderstanding, some corncob who works at the mall has banned me from the massage chairs at Brookstone. Apparently bringing in your own margarita in a Big Gulp cup and having a Cinco De Mayo relax-a-thon in the massage chairs is not allowed. The dude dented my sombrero and everything. I'll just have to buy one of my own massage chairs from the Brookstone website. Did you know that malls have jail cells in them?"